Through Madness
by Agent Mozell
Summary: kaneki is deep in his own madness and hide tries to reach out to him using various methods.


"Let's go home."

Those three words echoed around in his head. People typically say that the echoes are loud when that happens, right? But it's the opposite in fact, the words echo around softly, like it started from far away and just now made it into the broken chasm that is his head. Just like real life in a sense. When you shout something from a cliff or in an empty building the words will bounce around and slowly fade away before settling back into the silence once more.

Just like that, but these words refused to fade away. They stayed there in the back of his mind just behind the madness that tried to consume him. Words from his dearest asking him to go home with him. Words that told him that his dearest didn't care that he had turned into a monster, comforting words that told him that he didn't have to be all alone.

Words that asked him to come back home.

A warm hand pressed against the side of his face. Visions of the madness and reality began to blur together and form a dizzying scene. Was that concern he saw? Was it the intent to kill? Who was standing before him? Hide or Arima? Who was giving him what look? Who was talking to him? Who was touching his face so affectionately?

Babbles escaped from his mouth. A hand went to his head where the warm hand was and gripped it tight.

Where was home? Where should he go from here? Anteiku was destroyed by the CCG…right?

"Kaneki…"

The voice was gentle and firm, but there seemed to be a hint of desperation in it.

There was a vague feeling of his mask being removed as he tried to discern the visions in front of him, as he tried to break free of the invisible hold in his mind.

Then there was a kiss.

Soft, tender, a little shaky.

The world seemed to stop for a moment. That much writers seemed to get right in their novels. He could feel himself regaining control over his body little by little and the birds beak began to crack before falling into the sewage they were standing in. His vision was still janky and he hand to focus hard to see that Arima was not there. Arima was not attacking him. He had both eyes and no wounds aside from those sustained by Amon. There was nobody there in the sewer except for him and Hide.

Brown eyes fulled of concern looked at him. He was waiting for him to say something to let him know he was there and not somewhere else.

Kaneki focused on him. He focused on his CCG uniform and how there was dirt in his usually clean hair. He focused on how different he'd looked from the last time Kaneki had seen him. He focused on one of his hands touching his cheek and how the other held his mask. Slowly his body stopped shaking with fear of himself and the ghouls that had tried to eat him from the inside out and began trembling with how Hide was seeing him now.

He backed away and covered his left eye hastily even though Hide had already seen it. Words couldn't form in his mouth, but what was there to say? What could he say? He'd disappeared for months without a word to Hide in the hopes of protecting him and this is how Kaneki is found? Tears began to flow and sharp gasps formed as he tried to take a breath. What should he say?

Hide chuckled, drawing his attention back to him. He had one hand over his left eye. "Dude, I already knew."

Those words struck Kaneki like a dead weight in his gut. He'd known? But how? How did Hide figure it out? He made sure to never slip up around him.

Hand drew away and his eyes looked down, Hide was giving him a sad smile. "You…you didn't have to hide it." His hand went to his chest and clutched tightly.

Kaneki looked away for a moment, unable to meet his friend in the eyes. "I—"

Hide stopped him, "It must've been hard for you, but you don't have to bear it all alone."

Kaneki's eyes widened and looked at Hide who was giving him the biggest smile. A smile so blinding that it was like looking at the sun.

"Let's go home."

It took him a moment to realize that it had been Hide who called out to him earlier, trying to bring him back. He felt his cheeks blushing a bit since that had felt like a confession and then shook his head.

"I have to look for them…the manager and the others..."

"You shouldn't, if they find you they'll kill you. Please Kaneki…"

"Hide…once I know they're fine I'll be able to leave, but right now I can't leave knowing they might be in trouble." He began to turn around and walk away when the pain reminded him of the gaping wound in his side. Kaneki began to fall over when Hide caught him.

"Right now you need to rest and heal!" He scolded, the tone in his voice caught him off guard and when he looked up he felt that Hide's face was too close.

Hide must've thought the same thing because he turned his face away. "I don't want to lose you again. Not after I've finally found you." He felt his hands tighten around his wrist. "Not before I've told you everything. So Kaneki, you can't leave my side anymore because I just won't let you!"

Even in the dark sewer Kaneki could see Hide blushing up to his ears and remembered the feeling of someone kissing him. He also recalled his mask in Hide's hand. He felt secondhand embarrassment before giving into Hide's demands.

He leaned against the other and put his head of his shoulder. Hide tensed a bit before looking at Kaneki, who smiled a little.

"When I wake up…tell me properly…everything that you need to say."

A smile. "Yeah…I will."

"Let's go home, Hide."

"Yeah, let's."


End file.
